you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
