Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
