I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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