I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
