Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
