No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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