Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
