You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
