She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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