I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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