I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
