New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize