We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize