She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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