I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
