They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
