shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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