Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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