His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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