Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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