no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
sex in a hospital.. check
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
