I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
