Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize