you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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