I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
