some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
