respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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