Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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