Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
