i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
