If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
