Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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