I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
