nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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