Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
