A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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