And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
