I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
