people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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