Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
