So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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