So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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