Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
