Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
