There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
