He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
