im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
