And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
