We're like a lot better than the average bears
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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