He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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