don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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