How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
