I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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