As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize