It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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