Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
