im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
