trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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