I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
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