she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
